My sister is learning how not to be "nice." It is a thrilling thing to see. It reminded me of my own journey to "no." Here's a poem I wrote at the time:
Sometimes, a woman has to say "No" a thousand times
before she can come to one true yes.
No, I can't talk to you right now.
No, I won't join one more committee even if it is a vital cause.
No, I won't be the neighborhood babysitter just because everyone else works out of the home.
In all of these no's we can finally come to know who we really are.
We are not the volunteer who always works so hard that she becomes physically sick after the big event.
We are not the friend who always answers the phone no matter what.
We are not the mother whose door is always open.
All of these yes' come at a price.
The headaches.
Breast Cancer.
Fallen families.
Lives unlived.
Love lost.
After the first hundred no's it gets a little easier.
No, I won't remain silent while an angry father slaps his two year old at the grocery store.
No, I can't share myself with "friends" who are unkind and ungiving.
No, I won't accept something as truth without first asking my heart.
At the end of that long road of no's we finally meet who we really are. Some say she's wicked, others think she's evil but I think she is someone I would want my own daughter to take after.
